Over the past few weeks, my heart has been heavy with grief and a burdening weight that has left me frustrated and in tears at least once a day. I hate it when I feel like this; I hate the lack of joy that my heart has; I hate my downcast spirit. I am not sure the exact cause of this recent frustration and sadness. Maybe I didn’t allow myself to grieve fully after Savannah died; maybe I am fighting fears or frustrations over the fact that our timing to get pregnant again doesn’t seem to be God’s timing. Maybe, I am lonely, feeling disconnected and distanced from the ones I love the most. Or, maybe it is just a combination of all these things.
Whatever the reason, it is real, and it stinks. But, God is the Master at making “stinking” things have a Beautiful aroma. He often speaks to me through song, and this week, Josh Wilson’s new song, “Before the Morning” has spoken to my heart and given me hope that the pain I have been feeling in my heart really is just the “hurt before the healing.”
I encourage you to read the lyrics to the song below and then listen to the link of the song on You Tube. I also put a link to a video of Josh Wilson explaining the story behind why he wrote the song. After hearing the reasoning behind the song, I was even more convicted that God wanted to minister to my heart through these words.
If you are hurting in your life now or stuck in a place where things just don’t seem to be getting better, then I encourage you that there is hope and healing coming. You are loved and prayed for my friends. Thanks for listening; I am truly humbled that you are reading my blog.
Josh Wilson’s Before the Morning:
Do you wonder why you have to
Feel the things that hurt you
If there’s a God who loves you where is He now
Maybe there are things you can’t see
And all those things are happening
To bring a better ending
Someday somehow you’ll see you’ll see
Would you dare would you dare to believe
That you still have a reason to sing
Cause the pain that you’ve been feeling
It can’t compare to the joy that’s coming
So hold on you gotta wait for the light
Press on and just fight the good fight
Cause the pain that you’ve been feeling
It’s just the dark before the morning
My friend you know how this all ends
You know where you’re going
You just don’t know how you’ll get there
So say a prayer
And hold on cause there’s good for those who love God
But life is not a snapshot
It might take a little time but you’ll see the bigger picture
Once you feel the weight of glory
All your pain will fade to memory
It’s just the hurt before the healing
Oh the pain that you’ve been feeling
It’s just the dark before the morning
The song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MniOtRnCO9I
Hi Savannah! I just tried to look up the lyrics to that specific song and stumbled upon your blog. Thank you for being open and honest with your feelings so that others, like myself, have the opportunity to relate and feel less alone or annoyed by that little feeling you described weighing heavy on your heart and spirit. You're right it does stink!:)It's always positive to remember that seasons change and pain and frustration cannot last forever. Thank God! God Bless
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